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Which is totes possible because hey, you're a senior accountant at Citi. And when Kate Upton doesn't call, instead they marry horrible women who grow up to be sedated housewives who are constantly trying to pitch their inability to work a stove as a reality show to E!. So what do we have here? Nice people finish last. Now I'm not going to harp on the guy part of it. You guys are bro, you get it.

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Some of you, if not most, have girks and know how to treat a lady I think. Hell, I call my guy friends when I need a heart to heart or a pick me up after a dude turns into a total butthead. But for the life of me, some of you guys pick the worst vaginas ever to lock it up with, and I can't understand why. So before you go thinking the girl you just met who with qant pounds of makeup on and a tight dress is the girl you should marry Hot girls want se in uy the butt selfie she posted uuy Instagram looks great, think about these five scenarios before ggirls do it. And realize nice girls don't Chat random girls this, mainly because they don't have to.

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These women are scammers. And yet you're throwing your money at them like they're the only lady bits in the world. Don't date gold diggers. Don't date women who are more impressed by your car, your apartment and your bank account than they are by your ability to simply have a cool conversation and do the right thing. Because if happens again, you're chick will be gone a lot faster than that case of the clap she gave you, and all your money will have gone out the door with the absurd shoe collection you bought her from Bergdorf. Don't Date Cleat Chasers, especially if you're an athlete These women are awful.

Sure, they're probably hot. They live in Arizona or LA or Miami, they're blonde and tiny. But when you're hooked up to a girl whose only quality is her looks -- no substance, ambition or depth -- who is hoping to use your name to parlay their C-list looks into an MTV or Oxygen show, or some kind of gig where their boobs and butt make them 'good at it, you know you're screwed because they really have no other life skills and can't sustain their clothes shopping habit on a 35K a year salary as an office manager. These girls don't love you. They love knowing some athlete picked them. If it wasn't you, it'd be your third baseman. And they love the attention.

Make out with chicks for attention, and tweet pics of themselves in 70 different positions in the same dress for attention. Look at their Instagram -- any pictures with friends? Just selfies in a mirror with a tight dress on. I'm sure she is super modest and has loads to converse about. Pick the girl who loves the guy, not the attention the guy's job brings. If a chick has a laundry list of crazy that's laid out on websites like Baller Alert, Deadspin or The Dirty, maybe think twice about whether or not she's a good girl with good intentions.

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I feel like some guys ee smart. I've heard horror stories about women who hours after saying I do, are going off the paranoia deep Hkt accusing their husband of hitting on bridesmaids, or getting sw over Maxim Magazine subscriptions, wabt spending their husband's money on things like bags shoes and clothes at rates that made the dudes from "Wolf of Wall Street" look frugal. These women are like their own personal cottage industry. And when the guy wises up and divorces her, you'll see her wandering around the party cities like Miami and L.

Sorry, boys, false alarm. Now if everything else were awesome, that would be acceptable, but the roll call of mediocrity is only beginning. The food, frankly, stinks. It appears the whole Uruguayan populace has pretty low standards for food. Menus are short, and are basically lists of overpriced unseasoned meat or basic cheese pizzas without any flavor. The Uruguayans will dig in with gusto to a plate of fries covered in yellow cheese sauce, unseasoned. The most jarring realization I had was that the chicks in Uruguay are shockingly so-so. Obviously they are better than the American chicksbut in the bars I went to it was a not uncommon occurrence to see a group of 5 chicks of the right age group come in the bar and 4 of them be completely unbangable, no matter how many overpriced drinks you drank.

Their personalities are also like the food, flavorless and dull. If you want to take a girl home you need to survive until at least 6 am, and who has the energy at 6 am after a night in a loud club to do a good job with some mediocre dull chick? I must be getting old or something. At this point I started feeling like I was taking crazy pills. Luckily, Uruguay has one major positive, which is the drug policy. Weed is tolerated there for personal use and is readily available, and not too expensive Update:


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